Sober-Friendly Wedding Tips
If someone you love is newly sober (thanks, COVID, for making everyone take a good long look at themselves), you might be thinking about how to make sure they feel comfortable at your wedding. In most cases you don’t need to go all the way to Dry Wedding to help your sober loved one feel cared for. Here are a few tips to help make sure your celebration is enjoyable for everyone, even those on the road to recovery.
Offer mocktails or booze-free punch.
This probably seems obvious, but the number one way to support your sober loved one at your wedding is to make sure there are ample non-alcoholic beverage options at your event. Yes, that means usual bar staples like coke and soda water, but it’s also nice to offer mocktails or virgin punch. But remember that some former drinkers shy away from drinks that imitate their beverage of choice, so an alcohol-free beer may not be all that helpful. Instead, opt for more festive offerings that are less likely to be part of their old patterns.
Don’t offer wine poured at the table.
Yes, it’s the fancier way to do it, but having to decline alcohol multiple times in one meal can be exhausting or triggering to someone who is newly sober. Let your guests go to the booze, not have the booze come to them.
Include an activity during cocktail hour so Not Drinking isn’t as awkward.
For people who are re-learning how to socialize without the aid of “liquid courage,” having a casual activity available to do during cocktail hour is appreciated. Things like lawn games, trivia or bingo based around the couple, musical entertainment, or even an interactive food experience can give folks something to do with their hands/minds that isn’t simply “drink and chat for an hour".”
Toast with sparkling juice as an option (and offer it to everyone.)
If you’re going for a sparkling toast, make sure there’s a non-alcoholic option easily available. Often guests who don’t otherwise drink will make an exception for bubbly (we see you, impeccably-dressed pregnant bombshell) so the peer pressure to partake can be greater. Offer all guests an option so your sober loved one doesn’t need to go seeking something else.
Don’t make a fuss if they want to leave early.
Your newly-sober loved one wants to celebrate you and your love, but being around a lot of people drinking and cavorting late into the night may be a challenge for them. If they leave early, do not make a fuss about it. In fact, I recommend letting them know in advance that if they need to call it a night before the rest of your crew, it’s completely fine. Make sure they have access to an early departure (i.e. schedule an early shuttle or don’t plan on them driving other people back to the hotel) and be kind about it.
Ask your sober friend or relative what would make them comfortable.
Part of the recovery process is openness and honesty, so if it’s something they’ve discussed with you in the past, you could ask them for any other feedback they have on it. Of course, most folks will insist that there’s no need to change anything on their behalf, so don’t be surprised by that response. But letting them know you care about them and are proud of them and want to support their journey never hurts.
bonus points: Offer sweets throughout the event
My partner is coming up on his one-year soberversary and his post-drinking sweet tooth is still VERY real. Depending on how long your newly-sober loved one has been on their recovery journey, they may be contending with a major craving for sugary foods. Having candies or sweets on hand (or gifted to them privately before the event) is a subtle way to show that you care about their situation.