Lauren + Tadeu's New Year's Eve Wedding in Seattle
Once long ago (pre-COVID!) I was visiting Seattle and had a spare afternoon so I put out feelers to see if anyone who followed me on instagram would be interested in a free couple's session. Almost immediately I received an email from Tadeu that said he was about to propose to his partner, and he thought it would be fun to surprise her with a photo shoot as well. I was super stoked on the idea of the shoot being a surprise treat, and I asked him to share more about them. He replied: "I'm a second year law student. I'm active in racial justice and prison abolition work. I am Latino (Brazilian) and that is really important to me. Lauren is a fourth grade teacher. We actually met the first day of college because we were both in the same orientation group (I was originally going to be a teacher too, but found that I'm not nearly as patient as I need to be)."
The entire email was a huge green flag. Prison abolitionist lawyer and rad molder of young minds? YES PLEASE. When I met them in person, their energy was extremely warm and loving, and the way they interacted just perfectly embodied support and mutual respect. We had a lot of fun tromping through the rose gardens, fountains, and beautiful plazas of UW, and overall it was a beautifully low-key afternoon. I sent them their photos a few weeks later and crossed my fingers that they would hire me for their wedding.
I was absolutely thrilled when they asked me to document their New Year's Eve bash. Their planner, Kaleb, is a big fucking deal (and super nice too); the venue, Sodo Park, was a perfect blend of rustic and sophisticated. I knew it would be impeccable but the design was absolutely beyond. Glamorous without being stuffy, and just electric with emotion. Thank you, Lauren and Tadeu, for being our kind of people and for choosing us to document your celebration.
FAVE DETAILS
Lauren's hair accessories
The NYE Party Props Table they set up which included noisemakers, hats, and confetti
The photos they set up in the front row of the ceremony of family members who had passed away
The family bolo ties worn by Lauren's brothers and Tadeu
FAVE MOMENTS
Tadeu's mom giving a toast in Portuguese (with the help of a friend who translated), expressing so much pride in her son and reflecting on the journey she has taken as an immigrant and in raising him solo.
The first look we did just outside the Seattle Public Library - the architecture there is so fabulously geometric.
Stroke of midnight confetti explosion - made for excellent photos as well as lots of fun re-dos as people were goofily picking it back up off the floor and tossing it around.
Laura & Shirlette's Community-Centric Wedding in Saxapahaw, NC
It feels like a lifetime ago, but in October 2021 I was invited to Saxapahaw, NC to document the wedding of a community arts organizer/curator and a musician/film producer. The result was impeccably designed, community-obsessed, absolutely stunning experience that kicked off with the North Carolina poet laureate reciting a poem at the ceremony (everybody wept, including me) and ended with a live band at the reception that was channeling James Brown and the Famous Flames. Top to bottom, it was one of the most fun weddings we’ve ever documented, AND the love between the two brides was absolutely radiating the entire time. Wow, wow, wow.
Sober-Friendly Wedding Tips
If someone you love is newly sober (thanks, COVID, for making everyone take a good long look at themselves), you might be thinking about how to make sure they feel comfortable at your wedding. In most cases you don’t need to go all the way to Dry Wedding to help your sober loved one feel cared for. Here are a few tips to help make sure your celebration is enjoyable for everyone, even those on the road to recovery.
Offer mocktails or booze-free punch.
This probably seems obvious, but the number one way to support your sober loved one at your wedding is to make sure there are ample non-alcoholic beverage options at your event. Yes, that means usual bar staples like coke and soda water, but it’s also nice to offer mocktails or virgin punch. But remember that some former drinkers shy away from drinks that imitate their beverage of choice, so an alcohol-free beer may not be all that helpful. Instead, opt for more festive offerings that are less likely to be part of their old patterns.
Don’t offer wine poured at the table.
Yes, it’s the fancier way to do it, but having to decline alcohol multiple times in one meal can be exhausting or triggering to someone who is newly sober. Let your guests go to the booze, not have the booze come to them.
Include an activity during cocktail hour so Not Drinking isn’t as awkward.
For people who are re-learning how to socialize without the aid of “liquid courage,” having a casual activity available to do during cocktail hour is appreciated. Things like lawn games, trivia or bingo based around the couple, musical entertainment, or even an interactive food experience can give folks something to do with their hands/minds that isn’t simply “drink and chat for an hour".”
Toast with sparkling juice as an option (and offer it to everyone.)
If you’re going for a sparkling toast, make sure there’s a non-alcoholic option easily available. Often guests who don’t otherwise drink will make an exception for bubbly (we see you, impeccably-dressed pregnant bombshell) so the peer pressure to partake can be greater. Offer all guests an option so your sober loved one doesn’t need to go seeking something else.
Don’t make a fuss if they want to leave early.
Your newly-sober loved one wants to celebrate you and your love, but being around a lot of people drinking and cavorting late into the night may be a challenge for them. If they leave early, do not make a fuss about it. In fact, I recommend letting them know in advance that if they need to call it a night before the rest of your crew, it’s completely fine. Make sure they have access to an early departure (i.e. schedule an early shuttle or don’t plan on them driving other people back to the hotel) and be kind about it.
Ask your sober friend or relative what would make them comfortable.
Part of the recovery process is openness and honesty, so if it’s something they’ve discussed with you in the past, you could ask them for any other feedback they have on it. Of course, most folks will insist that there’s no need to change anything on their behalf, so don’t be surprised by that response. But letting them know you care about them and are proud of them and want to support their journey never hurts.
bonus points: Offer sweets throughout the event
My partner is coming up on his one-year soberversary and his post-drinking sweet tooth is still VERY real. Depending on how long your newly-sober loved one has been on their recovery journey, they may be contending with a major craving for sugary foods. Having candies or sweets on hand (or gifted to them privately before the event) is a subtle way to show that you care about their situation.
Phaedra & Paige's Intimate Elopement in Rapidan, VA
A COVID-downsized but still absolutely perfect elopement for two brides and their dog in rural Virginia.
Like so many other couples in 2020, Paige and Phaedra had originally planned on a big wedding. But instead of partying in Chicago with a giant guest list of their favorite people, COVID had them reconsidering. Out of consideration for their loved ones, they downsized their 2020 wedding plans (and moved the Chicago wedding to 2021) and had the most beautiful private elopement in the foothills of the Blue Ridge mountains at an absolutely dreamy Airbnb. Their summer elopement was sunny and beautiful, featured a duo of jumpsuits, and the only guest was their dog. In other words: it was perfect!
Your Definitive Guide to Mini Weddings and Elopements in Richmond, VA
Hey, engaged people! We see you. We know you’re not only living through a global pandemic, unprecedented unemployment, a much-needed and beautiful racial justice revolution AND the worst president in U.S. history, but you’re also trying to figure out what to do about your wedding. Is it time to postpone your wedding? Cancel it? Or reimagine your giant celebration into something more…intimate? It might not be the blowout bash you imagined, but small celebrations can be just as beautiful, enjoyable, and meaningful. You can always have a big party later; we promise your friends and family will still come and party hard even though you’re already technically married! We’ve seen this firsthand: K + R’s VMFA Elopement + Fancy Lunch , David + Juana’s Clocktower Elopement + Reception, A + R’s DC Monument New Year’s Eve Elopement + Reception, Emily + Sam’s Scuffletown Park Mini Wedding, Cassie + Mark’s Libbie Hill Park Elopement and more on our blog!
If you’re an engaged couple trying to revise your wedding plans to better fit into the COVID chaos, but don’t know where to start, hopefully this guide will help. We’ve put together the most up-to-date information about venues (official and less-than-official), planners, and other vendors who are all pivoting to create beautiful elopements and mini weddings here in Richmond. And of course, because we are who we are, most of these companies are run by womxn/POC.
As always, if you have any questions or want to know about our elopement pricing, please reach out!
OFFICIANTS
Lots of folks think they can just go down to Richmond City Hall and get hitched, but be warned: they do NOT have a Justice of the Peace on Staff, so if you’d like to elope at City Hall you must bring your own officiant! Our favorites are Reverend Hollie, Reverend Lisa, and Casey Dokoupil.
OFFICIAL VENUES
We’ve partnered with radical community art space Studio Two Three to offer a very special all-inclusive package: $1500 gets you the industrial chic space for two hours, two hours of photography coverage by yours truly, a funky backdrop, and chairs.
The Virginia House is offering elopement packages starting at $250/hour with a two-hour minimum. This fee gives you access to the gardens, the house, and bridal suite area. The guest capacity for this special is 40 people. Book by emailing events@virginiahistory.org
Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden is offering a micro-wedding package now through October for a small ceremony and reception event for 15 to 24 guests for $850.00 plus catering ($110.00 pp + tax). Fridays Saturday or Sundays only. This includes a one hour rehearsal the day before, and a 4 hour rental time frame (6 - 10 pm) with additional setup and breakdown time. It also includes a family membership for the couple! Perfect for: Getting those lush, garden photos on a weekend (and the 4 hour rental time means TONS of photo time)
Maymont offers microwedding ceremony packages that allow you to have two hours of access to the grounds with 50 or less guests. The prices is $250 during the week and $500 on a Friday. Perfect for: Getting those lush, garden photos on a weekday.
VCU is planning to open their campus in August which means the Institute for Contemporary Art will open their doors again. Their normal wedding rate will run you $4000, but you could rent the Thinking Field, terrace, or 2nd floor landing for much less ($250 - $500). Perfect for: Couples who love photogenic architecture
Virginia Museum of Fine Art is opening back up to the public and offers several event rentals to the public. Their conference suite is the most budget-friendly option ($750 for 4 hours). You could also upgrade to the Atriurm, Amuse, or Best Café and ask about their catering services. If you don't want to do all that, consider getting eloped in the sculpture garden with an officiant and photographer for $0 and put that money towards a big meal with your loved ones in the future (see below for more outlaw/freebie options)
If you were planning to do a whole church wedding but that's not in the cards for this year, you could hire Tiny Chapel for a micro church wedding experience. Packages start at $180 to have an officiant and a customized ceremony for 20 or less guests. If you want Tiny Chapel to come to you and your backyard, packages start at $650. Perfect for: Appeasing parents who really wanted you to get married in a church
Dover Hall has created an elopement package through the end of July 2020, offering a two-hour elopement session for $500 including use of the estate for a small ceremony and photography (does not include photographer); total guest counts must land at 10 persons or less, including participating vendors. Elopements are available on select weekend and weekday dates. Add-on options include a petite dining experience, lodging on the night of your elopement, and/or additional hours for the ceremony and photography. Perfect for: Anyone who wants castle-elopement vibes
If you want to enjoy your elopement over a glass of cider, Blue Bee Cider will include that (along with cheese and charcuterie from Truckle Cheesemongers) for you and your guests. You also don't need to worry about an officiant because they'll provide that too. For 10 guests, it will cost you around $380. Note: this will fluctuate depending on your group size. Perfect for: Something small, simple, and delicious.
Historic Polegreen Church is free and open to the public. However, they do reserve and rent out their (non-denominational in any way) church area, so we don’t recommend guerrilla-ing this lovely venue if you plan to use the church area.
OUTLAW STYLE VENUES
There are several local parks that are free and open to the public. IF you’re up for some guerrilla matrimony, these public parks could be the perfect place to elope without needing to book a venue or ask for permission. You WILL need to bring an officiant, though! Check out our favorites, above!
Pumphouse Park
Be aware: the only bathroom in this location is a single port-a-potty!
Libby Hill Park
This spot is popular even in non-COVID times so a permit is recommended to help ward against being not-the-only-couple there.
Scuffletown Park (or other pocket parks in the Fan!)
Scuffletown is another semi-popular spot so we recommend doing your event anytime but prime Saturday evenings!
Pocohontas State Park
A photographer’s dream because there is SO much space and different landscapes to enjoy!
Midlothian Mines Park
A lush park with a side of building ruins if you’re into that (we are)
Forest Hill Park
This Southside park features a beautiful stone gazebo on the lake which is the perfect spot to get married!
PLANNERS
Our friends at The Hive Wedding Collective have designed and produced some of our favorite events and are part of our wedding vendor Dream Team. They are the perfect blend of professional, creative, and get-shit-done.
The team at Glint Events has created an entire new set of offerings specifically for intimate weddings and elopements. They specialize in creative design and are super nice. Tell them we sent you!
Ever since we worked with Swoon Soiree on an impeccable Indian wedding at Dover Hall (the venue’s second Indian wedding ever), we’ve been obsessed with them.
OTHER VENDORS
Just-a-bouquet florist: Strawberry Fields Flowers and Finds
A-little-more-elaborate-than-just-a-bouquet: Amanda Burnette
Epic cakes: Sweet Fix
Epic cake pops: Candy Valley Cake Company
Not eloping yet, but planning on doing it somewhere else?
We’re your team. reach out to chat about our destination elopement packages
Because you KNOW as soon as it’s safe we are all hitting the road again!
Our Ten Favorite Secular, Feminist Wedding Ceremony Readings
First thing’s first: the vast majority of secular wedding readings out there are by (straight, white) men. Which isn’t a problem necessarily, but maybe you’re planning a wedding and you’d like thoughts on love and marriage from, you know, a different perspective. Considering these weird times, we’re sharing wedding planning tips for parts of your wedding that cost $0.00 to change, and won’t be affected by any global disasters.
Today’s topic: Our ten favorite feminist wedding ceremony readings.
This post contains affiliate links. Carly Romeo + Co may receive compensation or products from companies linked to or mentioned in this article. This helps support our work.
Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
“Authentic love must be founded on reciprocal recognition of two freedoms; each lover would then experience himself as himself and as the other: neither would abdicate his transcendence, they would not mutilate themselves; together they would both reveal values and ends in the world.”
Amy Tan, The Hundred Secret Senses
“Love is tricky. It is never mundane or daily. You can never get used to it. You have to walk with it, then let it walk with you. You can never balk. It moves you like the tide. It takes you out to sea, then lays you on the beach again. Today’s struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens. You can run from it but you can never say no.”
bell hooks, all about love
“The moment we choose to love, we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom...When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.”
Madeleine L'Engle, The Irrational Season
“To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.”
Ann Druyan (Carl Sagan’s wife), Skeptical Inquirer November/December 2003 Issue
“Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous. . . We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . That we could find each other. . . That we could be together for 20 years. The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”
Maya Angelou, on Oprah’s Master Class in May 2014
“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from Gift From The Sea
“When you love someone; you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity — in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits — islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
Louise Erdrich, from the poem “Advice to Myself” in her book Original Fire
“Leave the dishes.
Let the celery rot in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator
and an earthen scum harden on the kitchen floor.
Leave the black crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.
Throw the cracked bowl out and don’t patch the cup.
Don’t patch anything. Don’t mend. Buy safety pins.
Don’t even sew on a button…
Don’t worry
who uses whose toothbrush or if anything
matches, at all.
Except one word to another. Or a thought.
Pursue the authentic-decide first
what is authentic,
then go after it with all your heart.”
Hilary T. Smith, from Wild Awake
“People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.”
Brandi Carlile, “I Belong to You”
“I know I could be spending a little too much time with you
But time and too much don’t belong together like we do
If I had all my yesterdays I’d give ‘em to you too
I belong to you now
I belong to you.”
BONUS: Excerpts from Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) aka the Supreme Court deciding that same-sex marriage is legal in the USA!
“The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms...This is true for all persons…who seek to marry and in their autonomy to make such profound choices...The lifelong union ... always has promised nobility and dignity to all persons, without regard to their station in life. Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just the two persons.”
Did we forget any essential feminist readings? Email us to let us know!
Lulu + Kevin's Richmond Engagement Session
Remember when we weren’t all stuck at home?? Yeah, so do we. What better way to pine for those days than by sharing a beautiful engagement session all around our favorite hometown, Richmond VA? These photos were captured by Sarah and we can’t wait until we can go back out for more photo adventures!
Meet the Couple
When we asked Lulu and Kevin why they wanted to hire us for their wedding, they told us:
We both are architects and appreciate the quality and the vision you capture in your photos. We also like the candid nature of the images and the artistic approach you have in your portfolio. Plus, you seem like an open minded and friendly group that we would love to surround ourselves with on the day of our wedding.
Wow, no pressure! For their engagement session at the VMFA, our photographer Sarah was able to incorporate some more design/architecture-focused elements as background to Lulu and Kevin’s sweet interactions and undeniable love for each other. The part of the engagement session along the Richmond Canal Walk featured more colorful backdrops and a little more of a whimsical vibe. Our only regret was that we didn’t get to include their cat Mittens in the shoot :)
Lulu described Kevin as “the more zen half” of her, and Kevin told us simply, “I couldn't have asked for a better woman to spend the rest of my life with.” These two creatives are overflowing with love for each other and it shows.
Their Engagement Photos
How to Write Your Own Feminist Wedding Vows (or How to Take a Break from Coronavirus Panic and Focus on Love)
Hello from our feminist corner of the Wedding Industry, where things are just as dire and dystopian as everywhere else! We spent all of last week cooped up, wallowing in the grief and turmoil that is wreaking havoc on wedding world.
To those of you planning a wedding in these painfully uncertain times: we see you. We love you. We know this is challenging. So this week, inspired by you, we’re crawling out of the hole with a little glimmer of hope in our hearts.
Considering these weird times, we’re sharing wedding planning tips for parts of your wedding that cost $0.00 to change, and won’t be affected by any global disasters.
Today’s topic: How to write your own feminist wedding vows
Step One: Get started with these prompts.
Take a break from scrolling Instagram with increasing horror and grab a pen and paper. Maybe one of those half-filled notebooks you have lying around your house (if you’re anything like us). Sit down with your soon-to-be-spouse and a glass of wine if that’s your thing, and dedicate approximately 3-5 minutes for each prompt, which will help you get through the easiest/most obvious answers and into deeper territory.
“I’m glad I get to social distance with you because _____.”
“When we first met, I ______.”
“You make me feel loved by _______.”
“I knew I wanted to marry you when _____.”
“To me, marriage is ____.”
“I promise to ____.”
“You are a good partner to me because you _____.”
Make a list of ten things you appreciate about your partner.
We encourage you to share your answers as much as you want, even if your vows will ultimately be secret until you read them at the ceremony. These little tidbits are truly the antidote to the ever-present gloom we’re living with, so don’t be too stingy ;)
Step Two: Decide on the format.
Now that you have a lot of material to work with, think about the finished product. Will you write your own individual vows and recite only those? Will you write something together and promise each other the same thing instead of each person making their own promises? Will you do both? Will your vows happen simultaneously with a ring exchange, or will you do vows separately? Once you have an idea of what the format will be, you’ll be able to start sculpting the raw material you created into meaningful vows.
Step Three: Look for themes, find the right tone, and condense.
Go back over your answers to the prompts and look for themes. Some people focus on how their partner makes them feel, while others focus on what they accomplish together. Some people choose to highlight shared future goals, while others focus on shared past experiences. There’s no wrong way to make promises to your partner. However, you should try to make sure that your tone is true to you and your relationship. Are y’all a goofy couple? Your vows can be goofy! Are you serious and romantic? Your wedding vows isn’t the time to try out being silly and flippant. Find the right tone, and then condense condense condense! Most vows are in the 1-3 minute range for length, and although you are welcome to go longer (follow your heart!) you should consider the overall length of your ceremony before each committing to a nine minute TED talk version of vows :)
Remember: the vows you make to each other are the essence of your wedding ceremony. No pandemics or natural disasters can change your love for each other. Focusing on that will help you make it through this mess, together.
Serena + Austin's Backyard Wedding in Mendocino, California
Meet the Couple
Serena + Austin had one of the dreamiest tiny backyard weddings we have EVER seen. Although they don’t live in Mendocino anymore, it’s a place they love (and where Serena’s aunt has a beautiful home) and we couldn’t help but fall in love with the epic cliffs, beautiful coastline, and of course these two and their sweet families. They opted to celebrate with just eleven guests, cutting out all the pomp and circumstance of larger weddings, and they shared the most beautiful, intimate vows. It was an incredibly simple, heartfelt wedding.
Special details include their homemade chuppah, Serena’s navy blue embroidered wedding gown with a sheer skirt over SHORTS (Just….prepare yourselves), and just the fact that they dedicated a full hour to driving along the coast and stopping for photos; it was a photographer’s dream.
Their Wedding Photos
Preparations
Ceremony + Celebration
The Newlyweds
Shaun + Sarah’s Unconventional Pittsburgh Opera Wedding + Dance Party
Meet the Couple
Sarah and Shaun are a couple who met through political organizing — aka our favorite kind of couple. Their self-described favorite things are “hiking, reading, music, laughing, and not taking ourselves too seriously!” and if that’s not #relationshipgoals, we don’t know what is. Living in San Francisco but with family on the east coast, they noted when they first reached out that “we live so far from most of our family and friends, so it's rare that we see any of them, let-alone have everyone together. I want to capture the love and energy in the room.”
We felt so lucky to be asked to photograph their wedding at the Pittsburgh Opera and to document the epic dance party reception they threw for all their closest friends. When describing their vision for the event, they said:
“We’re both feminists, and having a wedding that is fun, low-key, and feels good (i.e. not like we’re trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t work for us) is our priority for this wedding.”
With this in mind, they were able to create a celebration that felt true to their relationship: simple, beautiful, and heartfelt. Our favorite details include the adorable flower girl, their ceremony arbor that was DRIPPING with luscious florals, and the epic dance party (which involved, somehow, finger puppets??). We hope you enjoy their photos!
Their Wedding Photos
Preparation
Ceremony
Portraits
Reception
Vendors
Venue:
Catering:
Florist:
Band:
Dress Designer: