Not into the Whole "Dad Giving the Bride Away" Thing? Here are Five Alternatives.
First: we have absolutely no shade for brides who choose to have their fathers walk them down the aisle and give them away; however, that’s not a possibility for all brides. Some brides have two moms, or a dad who has passed away. Some brides have living fathers who they don’t have great relationships with (or know at all). Some brides just don’t feel like the tradition of being given away by their father is the right move for them. Whatever your reason for seeking other options, we’re here to help.
Here are our five favorite alternatives to a dad walking a bride down the aisle.
1. Walk down the aisle with your mom.
Really, who says that a father is the person to “give you away”? Many brides are just as close with their moms, and many more were raised by single mothers. Moms deserve the chance to trade brides for doweries or whatever this tradition is about. But in all honesty, it really does make our little feminist hearts leap out of our chest to see a bride and her mom walking together down the aisle. It’s a powerful vision of the bonds of women, and no we’re not crying you’re crying!! Pros: Get to honor your mom and her role in raising you to be a badass femme. Cons: Her beauty and grace may distract your guests from your own boundless beauty and grace. Just kidding.
2. Walk down the aisle with both of your parents.
This option (popular in Jewish weddings) is for brides who don’t feel like their dad should get all the giving-away glory. Also great for brides with two dads who don’t want to have to choose one or the other. Pros: you get extra support as you walk down the aisle, and you acknowledge both of your parents’ roles in raising you to be the badass bride you are. Also good for when one parent needs assistance getting down the aisle. Cons: Could be awkward if your parents are no longer together, and you gotta make sure that aisle is wide enough for three adults to get down!
3. Walk down the aisle with your partner.
A trend we have seen growing over the past few years and that we REALLY love (as equality-obsessed feminists) is for couples to walk down the aisle together at the beginning of the ceremony. We love the symbolism of entering the ceremony as engaged people, and leaving it as married people, and doing this also creates many sweet, photograph-able moments as you share the excitement of the day side by side. Pros: Share the experience of entering your wedding ceremony as a team. Cons: More traditional folks usually hope for a big emotional reaction from the spouse who is standing at the ceremony spot while the other walks in, so you would miss that (although to be honest it’s rarely as dramatic as you expect.)
4. Start in place, and have your guests walk to you.
This is something we have seen only once but it was so memorable that we had to list it. Catie and Erin got married at a chill Pocahontas State Park wedding. In addition to planting a tree during their ceremony (which we also LOVE), they flipped the script on their ceremony by starting out next to the officiant/under the arbor, and their guests came to them. It was delightfully surprising to the guests, and felt like a truly equality-minded (and introvert-appropriate) way to begin their ceremony. Pros: Surprise your guests with something that really shakes up the status quo. Stand there calmly while they all walk to you, so there’s no pressure or stage fright for more shy brides. Cons: So unconventional it may confuse people, or your venue might not be conducive.
5. Walk down the aisle alone.
The ultimate power move. You don’t need a parent, a partner, or anyone else to walk you down the aisle, you walk yourself, thankyouverymuch. Your independence is likely a foundational element in your partnership, and you are 110% confident in yourself. Pros: Go at your own pace and look like a boss while doing it. No delicate lily brides here. Cons: sensitive family members could have their feelings hurt by not getting a chance to accompany you on your final walk as a single person. But also, that sounds like their problem ‾\_(ツ)_/‾
We’ve seen many other ways that a bride can walk down the aisle — with a family friend, with a grandparent, with her child, with any combination of these. We’ve also documented many weddings that do away with the aisle all together! The main point is: as you’re planning your wedding, you only need to keep the traditions that are meaningful to you.