Why We Didn't Hire a Wedding Photographer
Hi y’all, Carly here. Time to get a little bit personal.
Picture this: it’s early 2012, and a fairly-militant young Carly is navigating the world of wedding planning as a feminist. IT WAS REALLY HARD. In fact, I felt like my options in terms of “weddings” were so limited (and so counter to my feminist values) that I didn’t even want to call our celebration a “wedding” — we called it a Love Party. Some of the classic elements of a wedding were still there: sharing a meal with our community from near and far, toasting to each other and to happiness and love in general, dressing up in fancy outfits, dancing our asses of all night. We hired a band and a vegetarian caterer and rented a cool old bank to have the party in, but one thing that we couldn’t find was a wedding photographer that fit our values and would capture our day in the way I had wanted.
It feels like sacrilege to admit that.
It’s not because we didn’t value photography or want the time with our friends and family documented! We were able to convince my dear friend and former Plan 9 Records co-worker PJ, to shoot a few rolls of film and a handful of digitals. (Thank you again, PJ.) But PJ isn’t a wedding photographer; he’s a band/musician/live performance photographer. He’s also the only photographer I could find, after a looooong search, who I knew would keep us comfortable in front of the camera.
Every wedding photographer I found in Richmond in 2012 (a time when googling “Feminist Wedding Photographer” yielded literally zero results—which was eerie) had websites talking only to brides about “the details you’ve spent years dreaming of,” finally finding “Prince Charming,” gushing over “the perfect diamond ring,” and how thrilled I must be to finally become “a Mrs.” Everyone was “so honored” to be considered to shoot the “best day of our lives.” And for some reason, SO MANY of them LOVED Starbucks and mentioned it constantly (still true).
There were photographers promising to pray for us before starting to shoot on our wedding day (pass). There were photographers with only white people on their websites. I did not find ANY Virginia photographers with same-sex couples on their site (in fact, when I started my company in 2014 I was told by a lesbian couple that mine was the only site they could find with same-sex people on it and that was TWO YEARS LATER). Our wedding photographer search was a deep, dark dive into the super white, super hetero, super fairy-tale-schtick Weddingland and we were not about it.
So we celebrated without a professional wedding photographer. We had a beautiful time, we drank boozy milkshakes and enjoyed our friends playing live music and there were decorations made by our dearest friends, and our favors were MASON JARS (because even feminists can be #basic y’all, it was 2012.) My mom made my dress and my dad made my cake and we ate the best vegetarian wedding food ever by Everyday Gourmet. Everyone cried.
We cherish the photos we have, but they aren’t Wedding Photos. I’ve made peace with that (and am eternally grateful to PJ for documenting it at all). But I wish I had had a better option.
So I started my business to be the photographer that I couldn’t find back then.
If you’re searching through what feels like endless websites full of gauzy tulle and people waxing poetic about how idyllic weddings are and that doesn’t fit you — we’re here. We’re realists. We love love, of course. But when we say that, we mean we love people and we love partnerships. We love supporting folks who intentionally navigate (and even disrupt) spaces that aren’t For Them.
David + Juana's Private Baltimore Clocktower Wedding Ceremony + Reception Party
Meet the Couple
Juana and David had their wedding ceremony in one of the most unique wedding “venues” I’ve ever been to: The Bromo Seltzer Arts Tower. Getting to the spot required an elevator ride, a ladder climb, and some careful stepping around actual giant clock machinery, but it was SO WORTH IT. The intimate vibe — just Juana, David, their officiant, and myself were present — made way for so much beautiful, real, raw emotion and one of the most genuine ceremonies I’ve ever witnessed.
Second-favorite thing about David and Juana’s celebration: THE STYLE, Y’ALL. These two radiate confidence in their quirky selves. Juana rocked the combination of ballgown, glam jewelry, tattoos, glasses (#brideswearingspecs, YES), and leather jacket. David was a dapper dad in a burnt orange wool blazer, jewel-toned bowtie, his own glasses and tattoos, and a rad boutonniere that tied the whole look together. To any other groom considering a non-suit, or a non-traditional-color suit, GO FOR IT. Look at David. Be like David.
After their micro ceremony, we took the limo to pick up their two kiddos and made a quick pit stop at their favorite bar for some pinball. Because couples that play together, STAY TOGETHER, friends. It’s real. After that, we popped over to the Corradetti Glassblowing Studio where their reception party was starting to roll! Moment of honestly: it is very rare for the Carly Romeo & Co team to shoot at the same venue more than once — not because we tend to trash the place, but because our couples hail from so many different locations and have such unique tastes that it just so happens that we’re usually checking out new places every time. However, this is the second wedding we’ve shot at Corradetti (HAY Paige and Roger!) and we 100% endorse it as a place to celebrate your love. The glasswork there is gorgeous and the whole place has a very “art is made here” vibe, which we are all about. So Baltimore-area folks: take note!
Anyway, back to Juana and David. Their reception at Corradetti was a candlelit, colorful, beer-lover’s paradise. Instead of cake, they had an ice cream bar. I brought a polaroid camera for their daughters to play with, so there were polaroids a-plenty. There was dancing, and hugging, and so much JOY. It was epic, and we feel so lucky that we were invited to document it.
Their Wedding Photos
Wedding Vendors
PLANNING - Aimee Miller
CATERING - Zeffert & Gold
VENUE - Corradetti
FLORALS - The Modest Florist
DESSERT - The Charmery
DRESS - Maggie Sottero
SUIT - Brooks Brothers
HAIR | MAKEUP - Elite Secrets Bridal Boutique
DJ - DJ Landis
E & C Engagement Session at Humpback Rock, Virginia
I'm trying to blog more, despite being knee-deep in my editing pile, so here are a few favorite moments from last month's trek to Humpback Rock with C, E, and their two pups. I love spending time with my couples before their wedding day so we can get to know each other, laugh together, talk about favorite music and vacation spots, and just generally diffuse the jitters. I don't always recommend doing this on giant rock cliffs but these two are pretty adventurous people, so...
Laura + Dean's Feminist Wedding at Hermitage Museum & Gardens in Norfolk, VA
Every wedding is beautiful, but some weddings have elements that stick with you for months and months afterward. Laura and Dean's wedding was one of those gets-in-your-heart-and-stays-there types of weddings. Favorite details included: they intentionally only hired women- and/or LGBTQ-owned business as their vendors; Laura specifically requested that guests not stand when she walked down the aisle (badass feminist bride much??); a wedding ceremony that included a reading of Brandi Carlile lyrics; and a bright blue vintage VW "getaway van." Thank you for inviting us to document such a beautiful, sweaty-dance-party celebration, you two!
Check the vendor list at the bottom for details, including where she got that killer dress.
Second/support shooting provided by Shawnee Custalow
VENDORS
Venue: Hermitage Museum & Gardens
Planner: Tanya Keller @ Jane of All Trades
Caterer: East Beach Catering
Event Rentals: Distinctive Event Rentals
Florist: Laurel & Sarah @ New Leaf
Baker: Incredible Edibles
Dress: Reem Acra
Suit: Suit Supply
Quartet: Harbor String Quartet
DJ: Roger @ Astro Entertainment DJ
Makeup: Blushtones
Hair: Flawless
Videographer: The Girl Tyler
Paper Products/Graphic Design: Pat @ Pat Squared Design (Laura's Mom!!)
Emily + Sam's Intimate Park Wedding in Richmond, Virginia
Anyone who has spent time in the land of wedding photography knows that most weddings found on the internet (blogs, photographer websites, etc) share the common qualities of being pristinely curated, insanely expensive, production-value-aware, and seemingly perfect. But these are not the things that make our hearts go pitter-patter. Instead, we are excited by the low-key, the simple, and the gorgeously un-perfect. When Emily and Sam came to the studio to talk about us shooting their wedding day, which consisted of a 30-guest ceremony at a local park and a stroll back to their home where the reception would be held, I was so excited I could burst. I knew that their celebration would be beautiful, but I also knew it wasn't going to be all about the perfect shot of her engagement ring emerging from a flower (WHY) or an overly-polished, strict-to-the-minute timeline. Their wedding day was relaxed. It was honest. It embraced and celebrated the work-in-progress spirit of their home (and their relationship). It included a special, sacred, personal portion of the ceremony during which photography was not allowed--even by me (and I wasn't mad about it). It was exactly the kind of thing I started shooting weddings to be part of: personal, un-fussy, and romantic in its realism. I am so excited to share their day as my first 2016 wedding on the blog.
// c
