What to Expect When People Are Expecting Your Wedding: Set a Decision Date
A Time Warp.
By: Super Meredith
You know those days when you get to work and realize you don’t even remember driving/walking/biking there because you were so zoned out or lost in thought?
I’m almost exactly a month away from my wedding day right now and lemme tell ya, the time has FLOWN by with me barely realizing it. Time flies by everyday anyway at this age, but it’s crazy to think that in only 30 short days or so I will be marrying the guy who I’m so incredibly in love with, whom I didn’t even know only a handful of years ago. My how things can change (for so much good) in such a relatively short amount of time.
In these past nine months or so of wedding planning it seems that it’s been one task after another, almost just going through the motions of doing, doing, doing, deciding, deciding, deciding. And you want to slow down, and to pause, and to take it all in and enjoy your “wedding planning time” but the reality of it all can be a bit more sobering.
There’s things that have to be decided on that you’ve never thought about before (like “Who do I know that is able to accurately pin a boutonnière on someone and will that person be able and willing to be in this exact place at this exact time to do that?” Or maybe “What the hell is a boutonnière?”). There are vendors who have to be negotiated with, kept in regular touch with and coordinated. Even if you have a small at-home potluck-style wedding, the guests bringing the food serve as a food “vendor” for all intensive purposes. There are things you have to do to make sure that your marriage is legal and legit like go to the courthouse to get your marriage certificate and decide on (and coordinate) who will officiate your ceremony. And there’s of course the underlying topic of money and costs to figure out, discuss and budget through every decision and task. PHEW! That’s a lot. And that’s barely scraping the surface of all of the things.
So here’s my solution: give yourself a cut-off date that all of the things will be decided on by. A specific date. Have your decisions made by that date. Let the people know who need to know. If questions arise after that (and surely they will), answer them as best you can with the information you have at that time – don’t go trying to seek a bunch of unnecessary new information, adding more tasks to your plate. I’ve also found one of the most helpful things for this to be having made a list of literally every single little (or big) task that needed to be done. It's best to do this at least three months out from the wedding. This can be a daunting task in itself though, so do it on a nice day outside, or with a glass of wine, or your favorite music playing. But believe me, it will be a comforting lifesaver as the date gets closer. And don’t hesitate to add to it as things pop into your head – it will just feel even more amazing to cross that many things off of it.
Most importantly, after that cut-off date, step out of the time warp. Actively remind yourself how close you are to that amazing day and instead of filling your head with decisions and thoughts about times, colors, and details, fill that space with thoughts and reflections on your soon-to-be spouse, and your relationship together, and how exciting it is going to be to start a whole new phase of life together. Take the time to appreciate all of your hard work and effort in putting your wedding together, regardless of how big it will be. Because we all know how fast time flies, and before you know it, the day will be here – and on that day you want to be able to relish in all of the moments of that day, enjoy yourself, and enjoy each other.
