How to Deal When People Are Expecting Your Wedding: Handling Unwanted Questions
Hey folks! Super Meredith, TSP Studio Manager here. Welcome to the first edition of my blog series What to Expect When People Are Expecting Your Wedding. In these weekly posts, I'll share with you what I've learned from my own recent experiences wading through the waters of planning my own wedding. Hopefully these can bring some helpful insight to those who are soon-to-be or recently engaged, and bring a little humor and relief in knowing you're not alone to those who are also currently in the throes of planning your own wedding.
Lots of questions. Lots of the same questions, over and over from lots of people.
Have you picked a date? What are your colors? These come early and often.
A lot of people asking these questions have been far removed from wedding planning for some time or have never been through it at all, so they may not be aware of some of the other minor details that are more important to you to figure out first. Like, do you want to have a small, intimate event or a large one? Or, where do you see yourselves pledging your eternal love to one another – on a mountaintop? A secluded beach at sunset? A church? Your backyard?
You can see how one question can so easily snowball into ten more questions. These may even just be swirling around inside your own mind, while you’re eating your cereal or running on the treadmill, without anyone else even prompting them. But then other people start asking them too (probably because you haven’t told them what your date or colors are yet and THEY NEED ANSWERS). This tends to lead to a few realizations at this point: that you will in fact have to make some decisions whether you like it or not, that you need to have answers of some sort about some thing/time/flavor/song or another to satisfy people’s curiosity, and that some of these things matter to you a lot and some just don't matter in the least bit to you at all.
Ultimately, you and your soon-to-be spouse are the only ones who know the best way for you to prioritize these impending decisions, so take them at your own pace. You may have a much clearer picture of where you’d like to say your vows as opposed to when, or you may be envisioning a certain season, holding a certain type of flower. Point is, these things can all influence each other, so choose to think about what’s important to you and your spouse – not what other people want to hear about.
I do suggest that once you nail down your venue and/or date, that you decide on at least a few things, no matter how minute they may seem to others, every couple weeks or months. This will give people something to talk about and give you a couple more weeks of peace and calm. It will also assure that your wedding will actually happen one day (and then you can be through with all the planning and go on with enjoying your life together!).
So if this is the beginning of your planning time and you’re already overwhelmed from the questions and decisions, don’t fret – here are some random questions that will hopefully be fun and helpful for you to think about AND put some of the Questioneers at bay... for now:
Do you want to take your honeymoon somewhere far away or local?
Will your pets be involved in the ceremony?
What type of desserts might you all want?
Who do you see officiating your ceremony? (A religious official? Family Member? Friend?)
What questions do you/did you most enjoy answering about your wedding plans?